Garbage
by Nanomemes
Summary: Iori Yagami doesn't care about your love life. [COMPLETE]
1. Friends Make Garbage

_I Don't really Like benimaru. Sry if ur a fan._

 _Feed me comments._

* * *

"... and this fuckhole won't stop hitting on Yuki. I mean, he's my best friend… but I honestly don't know anymore. Umph."

Kyo swung his feet up onto the coffee table. Papers fluttered off, scattering across the small living room floor. He reclined into the old couch and stared at his shoes, frowning.

"Honestly, I don't think he even likes her! He's just trying to get at me in some weird backhanded way. The guy has chicks fawning over him all the time anyways. What's he going after my girl for? You feel me?"

Kyo shook his head as he spoke.

"All this all could have been averted if I were in country more. He never does it while I'm around. But I mean, it's not like I could have done anything about it! The NESTS bastards fucking kidnapped me. You're supposed to look for your best friend after he gets kidnapped! Not try to fuck his girlfriend! Like what the hell!"

He sighed, and laced his fingers behind his head. He stared solemnly at the fluorescent lights on the ceiling. The air conditioner hummed from a vent in the floor.

"The moment I get back to Japan, Yuki is in tears. She told me that Benny has been hitting on her non-stop ever since I disappeared. She had even recorded it! I really gave him an earful. Like you could hear me for miles. I mean, maybe I was a bit harsh, everyone thought I was dead anyways."

Kyo threw his hands up in exasperation.

"But whatever he thought didn't matter. Cuz he just kept on doing it! Like shit. She would call me in the middle of the night, saying shit like Benimaru was outside her front door, just creeping on her. Like what the hell!? He has fucking _models_ chasing after him. What does he want Yuki for?"

One of the sheets of paper had landed near the doorway leading to the single bedroom. It was staff paper and had notes scrawled over it.

"I confront him again. He tries to talk me out of it, denying all the shit he did. I was pissed as all fuck though. I beat him shitless. That seemed to fix whatever was wrong with his head, and he stops."

A hand reached down to pick up the sheet.

"We continue to compete together, but our friendship was never really the same after that. I mean, it just felt uneasy… Anyways, so like a couple of weeks ago we go out drinking, and the guy starts hitting on _me._ I guess he was really drunk or something so I just laugh and tell him to fuck off."

Kyo dragged his feet across the table back onto the floor. He planted his elbows on his knees and hunched over. The remaining papers were strewn across the room.

"So I leave for the US a couple of days ago. Heidern asked me for help on some stuff, and, well I guess I can't refuse after what he did for us."

The hand folded the sheet in half before dropped the paper back to the floor.

"And guess who calls?... Yuki is in tears. Benny, that asshole, blew up her social media. All of his fans are going after her! I told her to delete her accounts, and that I'd take care of Benny after I got back. I have no idea how to solve the publicity problem, but I'm probably gonna break his jaw"

Kyo flopped backwards into the couch cushions. He raised his head to look at the figure standing in the doorway.

"… Hey, Yagami, you should wear pants."

Iori Yagami's expression was a mixture of disbelief, exhaustion and annoyance. He was clutching the handle to his bedroom door. His hair was unkempt and was stuck all over the left side of his face.

"You've got some nerve breaking into my apartment, then lecturing me on what I wear to bed. It's 4AM. Get the fuck out."

"I had sixteen shots, then got lost on the way back. I decided to follow Orochi blood 'till I found your house. Thanks for letting me in by the way. I knew I could count on you."

Iori glanced at his front door. It lay flat across the doormat. The metal hinges had been wrenched apart by the force Kyo had drunkenly applied to it. He would need to get that fixed.

"I don't give a damn. Can you leave!?"

"I lost my hotel keycard."

"I don't care. Get out."

"Can I crash on your couch?"

"I said get out! Are you deaf?"

"You're the best. Did I ever tell you how much I love you? Come'ere."

"You're _not_ sleeping here! Go find somewh- What are you doing! Get the hell off me! Kusanagi! Stop it! Hey!"

* * *

 _Kyo's continues to wreck Iori apt. Landlady gonna be mad._

 _Real talk though. Who actually wears pants to sleep? I don't. do guys wear pants to sleep? Tell me if you wear pants to sleep or not._


	2. Good Friends take it out

Short story 4 u dudes.

 _In case you're wondering. Every story I have fits into the same timeline. All the characters are the same. They're hints in the text as to when which story takes place._

Lol. you can just enjoy them without figuring that stuff out though. I'm a messy writer. I leave spoilers everywhere.

* * *

Kyo woke up with a splitting pain in his skull. It felt like somebody was driving a nail through the back of his head. He groaned and flopped over to push his face into the couch cushion. _Ah yes, the mother of all hangovers. Back to visit me again._

The sun was shining through the front door. Its rays crept along the floor. Kyo watched them with one half lidded eye.

He heard a familiar voice chattering on the telephone in the next room. Kyo concentrated on it. Hopefully it would take his mind off the horrible pain in his skull.

"-apology. Whatever you want, it's up to you. All I care about are the results."

"..."

"I don't need to answer any of your questions. This is a threat. I'm threatening you. That's all you need to know."

"..."

"You're a model Nikaido. The people who follow you are preteen girls. Do you know who I am? My fans set Boston on fire _three times_ last year."

"..."

"Of course not. Why would I want to burn down Boston?"

"..."

"Maybe I'm lying. Maybe not. Start a war with me. Let's see who gets torn down first."

"..."

"Sure Sure. Just a tip- stay out of any of your registered residences. The Heidern girl may initiate drone strikes. This is celebrity drama. Nobody needs to get hurt."

"..."

"I'm lying? Have you ever _met_ Leona?"

"..."

"What do you mean? You're the one not taking this seriously. It's up to you. Fix whatever shit you did to the Kushinada girl. You have until midnight tonight."

"..."

"My time. US east coast. GMT minus 5."

"..."

"Sure thing Soyboy. Nothing happens if y-... "

Kyo snorted, rolled over, and went back to sleep.

* * *

 _Low roar anyone?_

 _That's it. It's short. Hope u enjoy._

 _You'd better freaking tell me if you wear pants to sleep or not. And your gender. Im serious. (Comment in review)_

 _(All you girls who wear (long) pants to sleep. what are you doing?)_

 _Iori's on to Benny kek. Kyo is adoreably oblivious. He figures stuff out in the NY tournament tho._


End file.
